Wealth on my mattress...

Some people don't always know about me. So, Its about ‘The Stranger’ world that I created. It was for having a space for myself, where i could feel comfortable and not feeling like Im such a freak all the time...Like living as a homeless person in town or lonely street,... Sitting and Sleeping on the same small mattress, with all my wealth that I have on my mattress ( small bowl consist of some money for survival)... and yet Im grateful for that... :) I guess I never really valued wealth, money or some hot stuff like every single teenager would have. To me wealth is my happiness and right now my wealth is my family. :) Thus,  for me, family always comes first than anyone... 

                                 (From left, my mother, my father, and my eldest younger sister, dira)

Being the eldest son in the family is not as easy as some people see it. Of course, I need to try to be always good at everything in the family, so that the siblings would follow me. In fact, It needs a lot of responsibilities. But I feel very grateful, because my family matters so much to me. My parents were my everything since I was born. I love my family so much. Even vision myself married and having kids. And Its something I have now, having my beloved parents and siblings. I just want more of it. Better than ever in future. :)

            (From left, hada, yana, two little sister with different age of one year, and myself)

 These pictures were taken, during a family dinner gathering near a beach in penang. The place was really nice with colorful neon lights, even though it was raining heavily that night. So, my father ordered some of the best seafood dishes there. Here are they... xD'

They look so good don't they? xD However, they are really expensive. =.='  They cost nearly RM190. And there are all 5 dishes of them with cooked rice. Thus, they are not worthy. :/ But we are lucky to have such delightful dinner that night. It was a memorable day. Like It happens once in a year to have such scrumptious seafood. xD Oh well, be grateful... :3

Carrier That I've went through...

Almost everyone has a dream of something important in life. It is about committing yourself so hardly to the thing you most passionate about, and for me it was always carrier, and it is about the moment where i was about to change my life in future to be better, step by step, from time to time and from one phase to another. :D Its not that easy, but I try so hardly. :P


It feels like battles you survive that make you what you are meant to be. There is no stopping anyone when they really want something, but it sure as hell, ain't an easy road to get to myself. I've been knocked down, kicked in the teeth, betrayed by those who are supposed to be friends, deserted by so called friends who had no problem coming to me for help when I could barely take care of myself, but I was there for them. Maybe some of them. :3  It feels really bad. Sometimes I feel like going to compete with others in a negative way. Or maybe that would be the worst idea. :/ So better not to do that kind of thing. Its stupid as hell. No offense.:3 


For me, in order to succeed in my life, there must always be some sacrifice. For example, maybe a shy, confused or a quiet person like me? (As some people describe me) Its better to not to waste time during weekend in college. For me, I never do overnight at somewhere else or out from the boundary of myself. For some reason, I don't like to do that kind of stuff too. Even If I enjoy to do that kind of thing, who will I go out with? Someone who has no friend, like me? nah,... bad idea. :P

 Its the best for me, to spend more time, during my free time to study or doing some exercise. Especially in the evening? xD because Im not into sports like normal people do. If people would think its weird, then Its not a problem, because Im a weirdo. :) Life is like a stair case. You can't skip a step, and you have to stand on that step until you learn the lesson you're meant to learn. What I can say is that, you should wear your scars proudly, because they're evidence that you got back up!!! :P

p/s: The culture of students must always towards empathy, not aggression. Compassion is the water to put out a angry fire. :D

The Stranger's Street...

Do you know, what it is like, to walk in the stranger's street? With cold and loneliness surround the feelings... Trash everywhere with beggars and homeless people along the streets... It's pretty the same with what I've had in my life. Still, the struggle is infinite and continuing... I could tell that  I am mischievous kid when I was small... My parents hated me sometimes. Especially mom, whenever she saw my room in such a mess up, dirty and untidy. That, would be just me. A Simple Life. And parents keep changing me to gain better. :T My bath toys were facebook and a radio. That would be enough for a nerd guy like me, living in my virtual world,without bothering anyone except my family... ;)

Looking back on my life, it’s the criticisms that I remember most and more clearly than the compliments. I remember the names in elementary school or the times when people teased me about being ugly, inappropriate and silly . In fact, there are many annoying titles that have been received by me, in the school years.The nice things that people said have taken a back seat. To help to spread the love, I made up my mind to just be nice to those people and try to keep distances as possible between each of us. No people were getting hurt during the process. I’m absolutely thrilled with the result. :D It’s my new favorite act since that time. And maybe it will be one of yours too :p  p/s: Just maybe...

I never liked school; almost everyone thought I was a freak with bad haircut and look. I know how would feel. They treated me the same way. I didn’t want to play or hang out with other teenagers. I was too busy imagining that I was an engineer just like my father. I never was into sports. I wanted to improve my studies all day. Again I felt the same way amazing. :) The schoolmates didn’t like me. Probably close-minded they said. I said to myself "Who cares? I'll be your greatest stranger ever and It better be... " ;)

Since that day, I always talk to myself  whenever I felt to. It was a "my brain were eaten by zombies" experience... and made myself turning into a zombie since that moment. >:D A zombie with no heart and feelings, towards criticisms upon me. Probably a stranger too. :/  I guess that what I'm trying to say  is that, the reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. why? Because, I wanna free myself of being manipulated by people and make me feel like I can create my own decision independently without rely on others. But sometimes I can get really lonely. Especially when I'm losing my hope. At that moment, the only thing that is on my mind is to improve myself better and this can be done with my prayer. Always believe in HIM.  It's not always that easy when you're in depression, however you will be satisfied with it when it works on you. It's pretty that simple. Our life as human is just a phase, but the lifestyle will change the full hope and peace...  :)

If I had nine of my fingers missing, I wouldn't type any slower till now.... sorry peeps. That's all from me till now... thanks for reading... :)